Swashling the buck! Buckling the swash!

What distinguishes an ordinary adventure from the truly epic? A theme song! Ideally one that is as exuberant as it is sardonic.

Album Cover: The Life Aquatic Studio Sessions, by Seu Jorge. Released 2005.

During our deep dive into nautical movies, we found ours:


 The Pirate Song
(transcribed from the movie Sea Gypsies)

 We got scurvy in our fingers
 and tattoos on our toeses
 and we're sailing on the high seas
 the water up our noses
 swabbin' decks and closin' hatches
 eatin' only what we catches
 oh we're pirates
 we likes to sail the the seas
 
 and we'll go to any measure
 sail through any storm and weather
 always under pirate cover
 
 swashling the buck
 buckling the swash  
 rude comers, new comers
 doin what we want
 and we don't really mind 
 if we steal all your wine
 steal a family heirloom
 yeah we do it all the time
 
 yeah we're rude fuckers
 crude fuckers
 doing what we do fuckers
 ----(trails off, drunk)---
 yeah we'll go to any measure
 sail through any storm and pleasure
 oh what pirate never plundered
 when his [birdie's gettin' hungers]
 always buried eight feet under
 always under pirate cover
 
 we got scurvy in our fingers
 and tattoos on our toeses 
 and we're sailing on the high seas
 salt water up our noses
 swabbin' decks and closin' hatches
 eatin' only what we catches
 oh we're pirates
 we likes to sail the the seas
 
 well a pirates only pleasure
 is his god forsaken treasure
 and he'll go to any measure
 sail through any storm and weather
 'cause a pirate never plunders
 with his booty when he plunders 
 always buried eight feet under
 always under pirate cover
 til one day we got attacked
 then we thought we should perhaps
 drop some pirate treasure maps
 that lead to pirate booby traps
 oh there's just one gal for me
 lovely lady named the sea
 well i'm a pirate
 and I likes to sail the seas
 
 swashling the buck
 buckling the swash  
 we're plank walkers, rude talkers,
 doin what we want
 and we don't really mind 
 if we drink all your wine
 steal a family heirloom
 we do it all the time
 oh we're toothless, ruthless, always do it soothless
 sail away, misbehavin'
 never washin', never shavin'
 we're pirates
 and we likes to sail the seas
 
 well we're pirates
 and we'll do just what we please
 
 [longer acoustic refrain, slowing pace]
 
 well its true I must admit
 we pirates never come in peace
 but one thing comes of grinding
 of our rusted crooked stolen teeth
 lovely lady named the sea
 a life rotten piracy
 and you know a pirate once
 will always be
 nothin' but a bastard to the sea
 
----------
Footnotes:
Hear the song:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjbM72GCa_E
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ4JwCXVfJI

also, at the tail end of the movie, 
Sea Gypsies (available on amazon, free 
if you have prime), a woman sings it, 
with more lyrics

Not as original as Seu Jorge playing Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie in The Life Aquatic, but it suites us just fine. We will never be quite that epic. Or quirky.

Now to learn to play it on ukulele…

The cats remain skeptical, as they so often do. We remind them that as pirate kitties they eats only what they catches, but they just flick their tails toward the cabinet where we keep the kibble. Perhaps we’ll make pirates out of our pampered pussycats with more time afloat. And less kibble.

Always under pirate cover,

JoAnn